More of You, less of me…

17 04 2008

Lately, the whole team has been really busy getting the COLLIDE website up and running and making everything more alive and kicking, as our web-man puts it. Being the perfectionist that I am, I just had to check on the website everyday as it underwent renovation… and add a FACEBOOK group, a YOUTUBE channel, this blog you are reading right now, a flickr photostream… and you sort of figure out that these past few days I have been going back and forth many times to each thing and making it perfect. Perhaps its a disease, a compulsion to be perfect and in control at all times, not wanting to see a single little mistake on these things that will be people’s window to COLLIDE. Really, I just can’t help it… (i think I’ve even annoyed some of the team members with my constant criticsm about the website these last 3 days haha sorry..) i think there’s just something in me that tells myself that if I really make sure everything is perfect, then it will all be just that, PERFECT. However, today, my mother said something that just caught me… it floored me… all she said was – “remember, this is ultimately God’s event.”

My first reaction was… sheesh mom, off course, I know, that’s something that I don’t ever forget… but then looking back at my actions these past few days, I have indeed forgotten that this is “ultimately God’s event”. With all my stressing to make things perfect, I have placed my confidence of success on my own shoulders instead of God’s shoulders. All the pressure seemed to be on me… COLLIDE’s fate seemed to hinge on the website’s perfection and the popularity of COLLIDE’s facebook group… but in truth, it does not. Nothing really hinges on us or what we do because we are actually really really really really really small compared to God… (check this out for Astrological proof of our miniscule-ness, make sure you read till the end) Everything hinges on God! And we should rejoice at that fact! Sometimes we put more pressure on our own shoulders than we need to, be it during exams, when you are applying for University or when you are organising an event.

I’m not saying that we just laze around in front of the television all day and not revise for our final exams because our grades depend on God and not us. That is not right… in the bible it says that “faith without action is dead”. Yes we need to try our best and work hard to achieve all that we want to achieve, but why don’t we do so remembering that God is ultimately in control and that the final result ultimately depends on what God does and not what we do, and God never messes up… now wouldn’t that just make you worry less and have more peace in your heart. Yeah you can choose to depend on yourself and study like crazy till u drop dead and put your confidence in your own ability, yet no matter what, you can’t be perfect, no matter what, there will still be gaps in your knowledge that will make you worried-sick of failure… no matter what, we humans are always at risk of messing up… you can’t last long depending on yourself, and even if you succeed in the end, you would have paid the price of countless sleepless hours spent being worried. But when our confidence is in a mighty and HUGE GOD, you can feel at total peace eventhough after trying your best, what you have done might still not be all perfect, because you remember that really, the outcome does not depend on you but on Him.

You know, Simple Plan’s song PERFECT comes to my mind, the one that goes.. “I’m sorry, I can’t be perfect”… i think that is something that everyone in the world is usually afraid to admit… Today I admit that I CANT BE PERFECT, that is who I am becasue I am a human, i mess up…  But it’s ok… In our weakness, God is strong… in our imperfection, God is perfect… Though we mess up, GOD does not… so my prayer tonight shall be – God, as we carry out our responsibilities everyday and do things to make you famous, help us live a life that finds confidence and security in YOU and not in our own abilities. Teach us to depend on You more Lord as we work our butts off in this world… Replace our worries with peace and replace this compulsion of always wanting to be in control, with a heart willing to surrender and depend on You. COLLIDE is YOUR event and You never mess up… in all I do, let there be more of You and less of me…





2 responses

18 04 2008

Amen, bro! … let’s work our butts off ……….. but, under God’s favour :). Hehehe..

18 04 2008

Muahahaha….LOL…RISOoooooooo!!! i understood perfectly how u feel….the other time i was stressed out becos the website n multimedia was behind schedule n wasn’t up to expectation….then i put the burden on my shoulder…but i told lala bout it n she said…exactly the same as wat her comments….let’s just work hard n get as much things as we can as possible but ultimately it’s God’s event……He’ll take care of it…He always does…more than wat we can imagine…n in a more extravagant way too…

especially when i look at all our weaknesses n limitations n when i couldn’t see how this is gonna work…i would go back to the prayer closet n start praying dat god will take over…. as written in
psalms 91
1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.

our God is a BIG HUGE MIGHTY God…n sometimes we like to be in control so much dat we forgot the element of TRUSTING IN HIM!!! trusting that he will take care of His business….kekeke…

well eniwei i have an excuse for being a control freak cos scientists are natural control freaks!! LOL…we need to exercise dat in our daily work life as experiments are done in controlled environment (temperature, pressure, etc) u know…

Let’s work hard and sit back to watch God complete watever it is that is in our limitation…cos our GOD is INFINITE!!!

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